Saturday, June 9, 2012

you live, you learn.

watching My So-Called Life 18 years after it originally aired and the only time i've ever seen it, makes me realize just how much this single season turned cult classic show shaped my life. not only in 1994, when i too was a sophomore in high school, but i can completely see how it shapes my life even now. the gay best friend, the dying of my hair crazy colors, the lusting after and wanting to fix a broken bad boy (albeit, i'm over this phase, thank goodness)... and especially the brooding-melodramatic-always-in-my-head-daydreaming-hopeful, but never satisfied self.

i think i'm so attached, not only because i can see all the similarities between Angela and myself (side note: Claire Danes who plays the main character, Angela... also an Aries and if there's ever a movie made about my life, she's totally being cast as me) is that around these few years back in the mid-late 90's, is when i grew up. it's like that for everyone. even though we are all so young and high school only last a few years, that age is when we all grow up. just think about in your life, how many times you think about 'when you grew up' or when you starting being 'you.' this is when i started being, i wouldn't say obsessed, but intrigued with people that were different than me. this is when i decided i didn't... i couldn't stay in a bubble anymore. there was just too much out there to learn. how could i know who i was if i didn't know about all the different ways of life?  i wanted to be around people who could teach me something i had no idea about. weather it was a different race, culture, religion, music, movies and even sexuality.

this show especially makes me miss the good ole grunge days. i miss wearing my flannels and listening to Alanis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill, Nirvana's Nevermind and being the first one to get Green Day's Dookie album (the first CD i ever bought.) i can go buy a flannel, put it on and listen to all those albums on my iPod, so i guess what i'm really missing is just the feeling of that time, being carefree. you had the promise of your whole life in front of you, you could have been anything you wanted to be. man, what great feeling! which also makes me think as i'm streaming My So-Called Life on Netflix on my wireless Blu-ray player on my flat screen HD television, when in 1994, i was still 4 years away from getting my first cell phone (it didn't flip and most definitely wasn't smart)... i realize, even though technology has drastically changed... life really hasn't changed at all.

"it's never too late to be what you might have been."