history 101

we are a nation of immigrants.

that simple sentence should be the beginning and the end of the immigration argument. 

unless you are a Native American, you came to be because your ancestors came to this specific landmass on Earth from another specific landmass on Earth. from the thousands of Pilgrims and early settlers that sailed over the pond to the New World for religious freedoms to the 12 million immigrants that came through Ellis Island for a better life to the handful of children coming over the border each day from Central & South America to escape harm... they all have two things in common: #1 - they were (and are) not wanted here. 

the Native Americans, i'm sure were skeptic upon our arrival, but they tolerated us and taught us how to live and survive in our new home. so how did we repay them? we gave them crazy diseases, and while they were down, we kicked them by taking all their land... and since we "inherited" our new land of independence, we we've made damn sure that what we did to the Native Americans, would never happen to us. "no Irish need apply" signs were scattered everywhere in NYC in the mid-late 19th Century and early 20th Century. Hell's Kitchen just isn't a trendy address, you know. it gets its name honest ...and during WWII, there were Japanese Internment camps simply for people with Japanese heritage.

so now we are up to the children from Central & South America and also to the second thing all these immigrants have in common: #2 - they all came here (and they all still want to come here) for the exact same reason... because this country is free. this country is safe. this country is great... it's the land of opportunity. it's where dreams come true. 

and almost every child i spoke with in Uganda, when asked what their dream was...? they all wanted to come to America. America the Beautiful! their eyes would light up with hope. can you blame them? look what we say about ourselves? look what we put out there on the television and in movies. we are not a modest bunch. 

but if this country is so great, why do we treat people who want to be one of us, so bad? isn't imitation the best form of flattery? [see modest comment in previous paragraph] how can you brag about the foundations of this country but turn your back on immigrants rather than making them your neighbor. we were all... once them. we are a nation of immigrants! and if you can't agree with that, then you haven't learned anything from history, in fact, i think you've forgotten it... or sadly, most likely, never learned it. 

"those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

ig-no-rant adj lacking knowledge, information, or awareness about something in particular.

tiny love tornadoes

there are two reasons i get my mail on a somewhat regular basis: Netflix and to empty all the credit card offers and coupon flyers out of my mailbox so that Buddy (that's his real name  - we should all be on a first name basis with our postmen and women) can put more meaningless paper in it. but not this weekend. nope, this weekend was different. when i opened my mailbox, there was only a beautiful and unexpected gem. these gems are so rare and i feel so thankful and so lucky when i find them... rather, when they find me.

so there sat a single little green envelope. it was from a dear friend that i sadly, don't get to see very often these days. we used to have regular lunch dates, which always ended in me feeling a little better about myself. that's the sign of a good friend... a great friend. she's optimistic. she's a cheerleader. she's selfless. she's genuine. she's one of the best people i know or could ever think of, to have in your corner. 

i opened the card as soon as i got to my car. on the front it said "you rock" and on the inside, she wrote "just a friendly reminder." i started to cry. i cried at the beauty of its simplicity. i cried on the thought and the gesture from someone i don't see or talk to very often, but is never too far from my thoughts. i cried because it's just what i needed to hear at that moment. 

i've been thinking about what to say or do for her to show her the appreciation and emotion i felt. a simple thank you doesn't seem like enough. i could send her a card back? a Facebook post? a text? so here i am. this one is for you Dominator! because our days are happier when we give a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind... and you know how i love giving a piece of my mind. 

so let this be a lesson on the importance of surprise and the unexpected in friendship or any relationship... because little random acts of kindness can really make someone's day. in fact, it quite possibly might just change their life.

...and that, is why you rock harder than anyone. 

"you can not do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late." -ralph waldo emerson

the tornado cake my friend made me for my 30th birthday. 

Dear America: A Birthday Letter

wishing you a happy 238th birthday! you look auh-mazing! you have your faults (don't we all?) but i still wouldn't trade you for any other homeland! we are all so fortunate to have been born here... even if most of our ancestors were not. a fact some of us conveniently seem to forget.

honestly America, i've been a little worried about the destructive path you've been on lately. taking away some of the rights you have fought so hard to protect and you are continually denying rights and freedoms to others?! you've changed. it's like we don't even know you anymore. you seem distant. is everything okay? is there another population you would rather be with? just tell us...we're mostly all adults here. we'll still be completely devastated and heart broken but it's better if you tell us now then for us to find out later, when we're even more deeply committed.

and please don't take this the wrong way, but i believe you may suffer from borderline personality disorder. you just seem very divided and have episodes of extremism and chaos. maybe you should see a doctor... hope you have insurance! but you are still a spring chicken, so you have time to work it all out... and we know you will. i just want you to know we all believe in you and we're all here for you, no matter what!

if you're tossing and turning and can't sleep because you have so much on your mind and you just want to talk, we're all ears. if you're out at the bar at 2AM and drunk dial us, we'll come pick you up with tissues in hand for when you start crying about your latest self revelation and/or regrets of your past. if you text us late night, "hey. you up?', we'll text you back even though we know it's just a booty call because that's just how much we love you.

we know that you will one day be back to being celebrated for your freedom-loving ways. we know you'll once again be able to give people the American dream and this land will indeed be bright from sea to shining sea! after all, you're the United States of America....there's nothing you can't do.

here's to 238 more!

love you always,
your peeps

"nobody living can ever stop me, as i go walking that freedom highway; nobody living can ever make me turn back. this land was made for you and me." -Woody Guthrie

Ego v. Responsibility

so today the SCOTUS unfortunately decided that employers have the right to deny their female employees birth control based on their religious beliefs... wait? what year is this? yep, it's 2014 and we're still talking about women's rights and birth control. i wasn't even born when this discussion started and i've been around for 3 1/2 decades (...and just to clarify it's just not birth control, employers can now deny any medical care to their employee's if they do not "believe" in it, including blood transfusions, if your employer is a Jehovah Witness... or basically anything if your employer is a jackass.)

i get it (although not really) you don't believe in birth control because you think it leads to promiscuity. well, let me ease your mind... it doesn't. it does however, prevent us from adding to the already over populated world. it helps couples plan for the right time to start a family, if at all.  it relieves women who suffer from debilitating cramps, endometriosis and prevents certain cancers... and it also clears up acne.

it is not a gateway to sex. you want to know what the gateway to sex is? it's called puberty! we've all been there and have less than fond memories of it. abstinence only education does not work. there's no way it could... it completely goes against human nature. [please google hormones if you need further explanation]

but what actually baffles me more than anything, is that Viagra is still covered! you have no problem promoting and including a drug that was specifically formulated so men could have sex - let me say that again, so that MEN COULD HAVE SEX! yet, you get your panties in a wod about birth control... a drug specifically formulated to prevent women from getting pregnant... while having sex with the man using Viagra?! so basically you're saying it's okay to have sex whenever and with whomever if you have a less than competent shriveled up little wiener ...but it's not okay for women to be sexually responsible?  

juuuusssst making sure i got that right and i know which side of history you are going to be on... because i don't know what backwards crazy world you are living in, but it sure as hell isn't this one. 

"The court, I fear, has ventured into a minefield." - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

(the complete SCOTUS decision and dissent from Justice Ginsburg)