when you lose someone you love, you feel so many emotions. pain and sadness for the loss; happiness and joy for the memories; and stress from dealing with the emotional roller coaster. but like all the other experiences in life, there's a reason. there is something you need to learn, discover or change in your life. finding that particular reason isn't always easy, it might take years or the rest of your life. yet at other times it's right in front of you. this time, for me... it was right in front of me.
over the last couple of days, i had a lot of time to reminisce thanks to the many, many family stories that were shared. during these stories, i wished so hard that i could not only be with Pop, but with all my grandparents just for one moment from the past to soak in all the details of that memory so they would be fresh in my mind to carry with me for the rest of my life. but i quickly realized i will never loose those memories. they will always be there when i need them.
my most favorite story that was told this weekend was about the mysterious handkerchief that my Pop always carried. he didn't use it for anything, but he always had it. so one day my aunt decided to investigate. every night before my Pop went to bed, he would kiss a picture of my Nanny, then take the handkerchief and wipe the kiss off. he would then go over to his bed and lay the handkerchief underneath his pillow. shouldn't we all be so lucky to have that kind of love.
neither Pop, Nanny or any of my grandparents will be at my wedding nor will any see the birth of my children.... which saddens me, but the rest of my family will be and i'm so thankful for that. it does seem that mourning the loss of someone brings people together. we are all reminded that the most important things in life aren't things at all, they are people ...and the memories that bind us to one another.
"that it will never happen again, is what makes life so sweet."