So after years …and then some more years, I’ve finally given into
peer pressure (what a bitch that can be) and have reluctantly joined an online
dating site. This year, two of my best friends got married within two months of each other. Which might also have something to do with this decision. {Disclaimer #1: it's not like I'm now desperate for a relationship, it just means they will have less time for me. No hard feelings, I share in their happiness... it's just a fact of life.} No offense to anyone who is actively seeking or if you found
your significant other online, but it’s just not for me… or maybe it wasn’t for me and now
it is? Who knows? That’s what I’m about to find out and I’m going to document this journey every hilarious and I’m sure, very awkward step of the
way.
This actually isn’t my first dip into the online dating pool. About a coon’s age ago, after a few glasses (bottle) of wine one night, one of my now newlywed best friends and I set up a profile so we could scroll through my options. Of the
few guys we clicked on, the ONLY thing I found interesting and/or funny was when asked,
“What is the last thing you read?” He answered, “The back of a cereal box.”
That’s funny. We laughed a little bit, talked more about how there are way more decent and available woman than men on the dating scene. I drove home and went to sleep. I woke up the next morning, deleted the account and never looked back.
The most annoying thing about being single is when people
ask you why you are single or are if you’re dating someone. Do I ask you why
you are married or if you’re thinking of getting a divorce? Nope. So why
do you care so much about my choices in life?
{Disclaimer #2: it may come across
like I’m hating on marriage, and I’m not. I just don’t fully understand the
attraction and concept behind it. The older I get and more divorces I see, the less I understand. I know a lot of happily married people.}
So instead of giving everyone who asks, the 500-page
dissertation of my life, my answer is simply - I just haven't found someone. Not the one (because how boring would life be, if you only get to be in love with just one person in your life) - just someone who is worth it. I won't go into detail about my many great and attractive qualities - this isn't the dating site after all. But in a nutshell, I have my shit
together and only have a small carry-on for baggage, which can be safely and securely
stowed away during flight. I do what I want, when I want to do it. I can’t tell
you how much I love and need that freedom. I'm not going to settle for some Joe Smoe (no offense Joe, I'm sure you're a nice guy. It's not you, it's me. Can we just be friends?) just because I'm almost 40 (yes, mother... it's almost here for realsies) or afraid of being alone, which I am not.
After staring at the computer screen last night for 30 minutes deciding on a screen name, I took the plunge and set up an account. Scrolling through pictures of random people talking
about themselves (alone and sober) just gave me the creepiest feeling. {Spoiler #1: I didn't find cereal box guy.}
However, this time when I woke up, I said to myself, "Self. What do you have to lose really. This could be fun... and funny. You could run circles around these guys." {Disclaimer #3: because I think I'm funnier than most people I meet and sense of humor is numero uno on my list.} So here I sit on Day 2. I will begin to develop my profile in the next couple of days and keep you updated if Jocklife76's abs are worth the meaningless conversation. {Spoiler #2: they're not.}
Wish me luck! ...and if I end up dead in ditch somewhere, be sure to thank my kick-ass friends. They only wanted what was best for me.
Lookin' For Love - Johnny Lee
Wish me luck! ...and if I end up dead in ditch somewhere, be sure to thank my kick-ass friends. They only wanted what was best for me.
Lookin' For Love - Johnny Lee